not able to hold a real relationship

I was with my boyfriend for five years and it recently ended. In the beginning when our arguments got out of hand I would pick up anything and throw it at him. This pattern has continued throughout the relationship. At one point I did try to control my anger by walking away or just completely stop talking but I then felt like I HAD to make my point known because I didn't feel he was right in the matter. To make a long story short my anger has caused me to lose a great guy in the end and now I want him back but am aware that I have to change first before he will take me back.